Hotwife and Swinger Fun!
It's not like it's real is it?
Dangerously intelligent with a healthy dollop of sarcasm, cynicism and on a good day humour. But to be honest it's just me, nothing special, just having a bit of a wonder.
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Its only 09:40 and i have achieved
Posted:May 15, 2021 2:01 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2021 10:49 am

So i have removed my nose stud!!! yay wonderful i have achieved...... ok i think i can hear you rolling your eyes out loud at me here, let me explain. My nose piercing and i have a very fraught history, i finally got it one about 4 years ago as i had always wanted one, and the possibility of me dying before it happened was getting seriously realistic (courtesy of pneumonia, asthma and diabetes all being diagnosed on one perfect storm of pain and illness admission and 3 week stay in hospital) so anyway i go to our friendly tattooist and piercer in Keswick (will recommend them to anyone) and the resident piercer does her job and with a minimal squeek of aaaaargh the dirty deed was done. Now being of the female persuasion i was impatient to take the bar out and put something of my choosing in, which is why i had to go back about 6 weeks later and get it redone, as my choice of stud fell out. And i think its safe to say this then set the pattern for the next couple of years, resulting in one memorable night when both me and the ex were on the en-suite bathroom floor naked looking for yet another escapee. So fast forward to last year and i get a stud that can be locked into place. It was awesome, until about 4 weeks ago when i tried to unlock it to get it out..... so yeah that wasn't happening which brings us upto the present day. The other day i had a brainwave, cut the stud out with wire clippers, great idea ish, but the wire cutters were too big and it ended up only snipping bits of the stud down and too blunt, which is why i have been trawling the DIY stores to find a fine pair of sharp wire cutters. Good old amazon delivered this morning and bobs your auntie by 9:30 it was job done. No pain no blood and minimal of pinging of flying metal. So i think me and nose piercings have had our day, and i can move on now to my wanted nose surgery. ( ive decided i want a slimmer pretty nose, i think ive worn this one out and it needs to get its act together, its started snoring and i cant have that)
Im just plum tuckered out
Posted:May 12, 2021 9:48 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2021 10:52 pm

well i don't know about you peeps but work is just getting silly now, depending on your point of view i was either really lucky to continue working through the whole saga that was Co-vid, or i was really unlucky to have to work through the whole sorry saga. I ended up selling back my leave as i couldn't do anything with it anyway, but it did mean a lot of days working, needless to say i think i am just about running on empty and so looking forward to the end of the month when have a coupe of weeks booked off. I would love to be able to go somewhere warm and just slab, but i don't think i am going to be able to some how. its strange how some days just fly by and others drag, despite the fact you have met yourself coming backwards on yet another task, is it normal to be counting down the minutes til bedtime?
1 comment
Sensual art or dirty photos
Posted:May 10, 2021 2:56 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2021 9:36 am

So I’m lucky enough have someone who has said he would help me with some of those chores around the house fixing light switches, throwing me around the bed for hours, trying desperately find a way of making stop orgasming or taking the photos that I’ve been asked for and really can’t do myself. I’m relieved to tell you, that the breakfast bar didn’t break under my weight, my back is no lord Niger stair shaped and I’ve now seen parts of my anatomy previously unknown to . Gotta say I’m really not sure how I was supposed take those myself!! So if you like them, it’s a big thankyou David Bailey aka candidate number 2, and if you don’t like them I’m blaming candidate number 2. As for I enjoyed the whole hours xx
sunday is a playday, and will you please just fuck off abusive man
Posted:May 9, 2021 9:04 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2021 11:24 pm

its been brilliant weekend, went for a swim at the beach with a friend, the waves were fantastic and it was like being years old again, wave jumping swimming into the waves and riding them, not sure body surfing the beach was a great idea when a few big waves knocked us off our feet and sent us flying laughing and spluttering, happy happy day. Had a very healthy lunch with my buddy the wifi man, who sorts out all my techno stuff and car issues, so now i know what i need to ask the car dealership to do for my new car, and he has sorted out my face ache accounts for me.

candidate number two or David Bailey as i should now call him did offer to do my electric light switch for me, and he would have done it if i hadn't handed him a plug socket instead of a light switch..... durrrrr, made techno twat look almost intelligent!!

Got another lovely from my own private abuser, he has blocked me but then comes onto my site to leave me a testimonial saying i am a fake because i don't have a face pic on my profile, its like having a pet keyboard stalker, hiding behind his keyboard and screen and block button!! Can someone be so pissed off because i haven't replied to his comment on my profile that he feels the need to be so nasty??? so i have now reported him and asked them to get him to back off, but because of data protection i cant be told what course of action they have taken.
Thankyou mr abusive
Posted:May 5, 2021 1:57 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2021 1:42 pm

So if there is one thing I am not it’s fake, I’m a little bat shit crazy sometimes, certainly sarcastic, horribly honest, and more than a little wary of some of the strange things that are said on here,. But finding a load of abusive messages on one of my photos has really knocked me for 6, not sure what I’ve done to deserve comments like I deserve to be in jail, that I will be found out, that Couples For Singles has a record of all that I say or do and a few others, and all this from a verified gold member, who has apparently blocked me, so I would just like to say thankyou to him. There’s nothing like kicking someone when they are trying to pick themselves up, but if it made you feel better, then that’s all that counts isn’t it x
Scammers v Neanderthal it’s a girl boy thing
Posted:May 4, 2021 12:33 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:40 pm

So a deep and meaningful discussion with candidate number 7, would have been number 3 but he got COVID and bailed out on me, but now he has recovered from his death bed he has returned and declared himself a fan..... only took a near death experience for him to realise what a catch I am..... so anyway, after the cut and thrust of intelligent wit and repartee, on my part obviously as he’s been poorly, he tells me that my Neanderthal followers who want to ‘wank on my tits’ ‘show me the time of my life and can we do it this afternoon love cos I’m off work and I can squeeze you in between picking up the from school....’ are small fry to his scammers, so I asked him to explain and he said you hold member studs get scammed by poor damsels in distress who are getting turfed out of their accommodation with their poor fatherless , if only you could help....

So I’ve come up with a cunning plan my lord..... I will talk dirty, claim to be in lurrrrve with you and tell you tales of how my husband walked out on me, leaving me all alone with the bills and debts, and you feel so sorry for me that you offer to give me your pocket money for the week in return for....... and to be honest this is where I get stuck, what are they offering you for this money, cos whatever it is I can trump it with knobs on, and since my initial idea of selling my knickers fell through, due to my lack of knicker wearing... I think this new venture could take off, what do you think? Is it a goer???
1 comment
No more please, you have beaten me..... oh go on then
Posted:May 2, 2021 9:28 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2021 4:42 pm

Can’t stress enough to you out there that a definitive interrogation, both written, verbal and face to face , for any application from the candidates, is an absolute must, candidate no 2 is setting the bar really quite high, good job he doesn’t read the bloggs as his head would be insufferably big, unlike his very small cock (I pretend to choke on it , just to boost his ego a bit... the poor love) obviously I jest. But he is just a little bit awesome, and obviously now that he has said he will do my light switch next time he comes round, I’m going to have to keep him on a retainer... now also thinking of adding a special section in the interrogation programme on what non sexual specialities they might offer, joinery plumbing (not not for me, my plumbing is just tickety boo thankyou very much!!) and more importantly an electrician, and right now a gas boiler corgi registered please...
Jo and the sky man
Posted:Apr 29, 2021 7:43 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:42 pm

So apparently BT on the sound bar doesn’t stand for British telecom... any fellow techno twat (please let be at least one person..... anyone..... anyone at all) no apparently stands for blue tooth!!! The mist is falling from my eyes, at last something I can understand!! The sky man actually rolled his eyes out loud at me.... the shame... But think he realised that I was truly grateful for any handy tips on how to work the wizardry known as sky Q, he obviously doubts my abilities as he’s left me his mobile in case I get stuck.... not sure if I’ve pulled or if he genuinely thinks I’m a lost cause.....
of Babylon, Saint or sinner
Posted:Apr 28, 2021 12:37 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:43 pm

Bet that got your attention didn't it???? Oooer Mrs, I've mentioned previously how easy it is to be swamped on here, and I've got to say any females that can stay on here full time have my total respect, how on earth do you keep up? There are some seriously lovely people on this site ....... I don't know any of them.... But they must be out there ...... I have all the lovely nutters, misfits and general odd balls..... like attracts like 🥰🥰 no I jest I've been lucky enough to meet a few gems, I'm telling you the interrogations do weed out the wheat from the chaff, and for the time being I will keep the wheat. But can you put a sign on the door and say back in two weeks, just off to have a breather and open a Normal email , one that doesn't say, 'wanna fuck tonight'

And where are these people when you really do 'wanna fuck tonight' tucked up with their OH watching Emmerdale and the voice..... That's where!!! And just out of curiosity what do the 'willing to travel and deliver the fuck of your life' actually think us single independent women do for a living? Cos I'm telling you it's not swanning around in high heel mules and a silk negligee waiting for the daily fuck to arrive,!!! It's ok for you men to have a whole other proper life going on but us women are just playing games if we don't accommodate when it suits you???? Hmmmm funny how this works.

Good job it's not really real isn't it xxx
Coffee is almost kicking in here
Posted:Apr 25, 2021 10:43 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:43 pm

Fantastic week off, can even laugh about the detour via the NHS. Loved meeting new people, in all their guises. Still baffled by this site though, it doesn’t take much!!

So driving yesterday left me with a couple of questions:

Do the people who los their shoe inadvertently on the M6 ever think back to when they last had it, when looking for the lost one, and think...... oh yeah I remember now, I last had it on the M6 by the open window doing 80!!

Is it that when they see a plastic bag in a ditch assume it has a severed head or limb in it..... just me then...., must cut down on criminal minds and get another job.

Do all the plastic gangsters, with their souped up cars, really think the sound they are emitting is sexy ? Or is it just akin to elephants announcing themselves in the jungle?

Looking forward to interrogating candidate 4, 3 was lovely once he started smiling ...
Sunday sunday
Posted:Apr 25, 2021 12:35 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:44 pm

There's a song in the title somewhere, mamas and the papas? Blondie? U2, so many....

Morning, it's another truly beautiful day and I'm really hoping I can squeeze another swim in today, I went yesterday evening to coniston and it was gorgeous, I could almost say the water was warmer, so even the coldest blooded of you could do it......yes I'm talking to you candidate number 2, you can bring your industrial sized duvet to wrap yourself in after !!!! So I've dried out all my stuff and will repack Dory ready for our next adventure

Candidate number 1 got back in touch yesterday, hmmmm not sure what's going on with that one, but I'm not into playing games so who knows. This suite is full of keyboard wankers, no you can't have more pictures!!!
Really, they say '0h I love your profile, so funny, and straight foreward, please can I have more pictures of your tits' NOOOO!!!!!!

The image I leave for you today is...... Sitting in the queue for the carwash, windows down, sun blazing music really quite loud, who doesn't want to hear the eagles on a gorgeous afternoon.... And I open a message which has a video attached, just one of your everyday gang bang , with added very loud moans and pussy squelching and banging, does this come through incredibly loudly to anyone in the vacinity courtesy of blue tooth....test it does.... Do I panic like fuckery to turn the damn thing off .....yes I do .... Can sausage fingers extrordinaire do it ....... No she bloody can't for what feels like eternity.......
Photos please
Posted:Apr 24, 2021 2:48 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:44 pm

Ok it’s gawjus out there and I can’t go out, not in the mood for domestic stuff so can someone pop round , and update my photo album with new photos of me, and if you could make me look a bit presentable I would be very grateful....
Techno twat strikes again
Posted:Apr 23, 2021 8:36 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2021 1:45 pm

Oh god I have just lost what was no doubt an award winning blog, full of pertinent observations, the meaning of life and all the trimmings , then in a puff of smoke it’s gone...... sausage fingers, I am truly crap!!!!

Apparently there is a techno yang to my techno twat!! Bring it on 😇

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