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Just a Funk ~
Just a Funk ~ This post is only viewable by Couples For Singles members. Join Couples For Singles now! |
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Ive posted here before about my family and how alone and orphaned i feel. Today is my dads birthday, he passed more than 30 years ago, was a hard working blue collar steel machinist. I remember his working second shift, so when i came home from school he was gone, and when he came home from work, i was asleep. The weekends were our times...driving to the ocean....driving to the stables ( he loved horses), him sneaking me in to the race tracks, when i was too young to legally be there, him flooding a spot in the back yard for ice skating, going to the drive in and always wondering how i wound up in my bed the next morning. Of course there are some not so wonderful memories too, but therein lies my funk...there is noone left to say, " remember when ? " We were a family of four....and he, mom and brother have all passed on. A close knit, ride or die family of four. They were all Virgos, all born within a week of each other in September. And they all died in the month of March ( my March Madness blog ), they are together....celebrating their days of birth. I miss them immensely. Hence my funk ..... Happy Heavenly Day of Birth Dad. Thank you for life...love ....and the memories! I Love You ~~
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Wow. That's rather sad. 😔 It's to be expected when a family is so small. Mine isn't much larger and I imagine at some point, my heirs will have a similar funk. Yep... sad. Life isn't fair is it? ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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9/3/2020 10:21 pm |
I’d funk
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wow, time does not always heal every wound. this has me gutted. i feel your loss. i know it's not the same as having your loved ones with you, but i also feel grateful that you have such uniquely special memories to think of and those made me smile. i hope they made you smile too. thank you for sharing.
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Big hug my friend it's doesn't matter how recent or long ago it was, it still hurts 😔 when loved ones pass. Like Only said they are watching over you from heaven and will always be with you in memory and heart. Thank you for sharing this with us, God bless you my friend. Please Visit My Blog MAMACITA38DD
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I empathise with how you feel being in a similar position with none of your family around and the lock down it has added a new meaning to it for me.
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My best to your dad's birthday. Remember the god times and know that your family is always watching down at you
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((hugs)) sometimes a funk just has to run out of steam, there's no "getting better" from the loss of family.
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9/4/2020 4:45 am |
I lost my younger sister 6 yrs ago and I just lost my Dad, I don't think it has really hit me yet, maybe it will when we don't have our Sunday phone call. I can feel my family shrinking now and it's a bad feeling.
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...family can be so important in many mysterious ways.... and even though gone, they are still with you for all your days...... and apparently, sometimes they come back to visit you for a moment as a dragonfly ..... that's the story in my family....... be safe.... be strong.....
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While I lost my husband and both parents within a 2 year span, I still have all my siblings. Still, it's a little scary at the top of the family tree, wondering when the next branch will fall. You have my deepest sympathy for your losses. You're entitled to wallow a while. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Wow. That's rather sad. 😔 It's to be expected when a family is so small. Mine isn't much larger and I imagine at some point, my heirs will have a similar funk. Yep... sad. Life isn't fair is it? Thanks for your thoughts ~
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Thanks Only....i agree, i do have some super duper angels watching over. Thats a wonderful image to hold. Big huggss.... n Thanks ~
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wow, time does not always heal every wound. this has me gutted. i feel your loss. i know it's not the same as having your loved ones with you, but i also feel grateful that you have such uniquely special memories to think of and those made me smile. i hope they made you smile too. thank you for sharing.
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Thanks Joy....i remember reading your post about your dad and the memories. It resonated within. Its interesting how our words are far reaching and touch others. Most times we arent even aware... Thanks for these thoughts ~~
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Big hug my friend it's doesn't matter how recent or long ago it was, it still hurts 😔 when loved ones pass. Like Only said they are watching over you from heaven and will always be with you in memory and heart. Thank you for sharing this with us, God bless you my friend.
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I'm lately finding out lately sharing the memories make them more sweet, rather than bittersweet. With my child, it's about the most important thing I can pass on to her. hugs
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loneliness. My parents are long gone too but I still have my older brothers...they don't live in Ireland but we talk on the phone a lot. I shall miss them if they go first. Huge hugs. ~~Anais Nin~~
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Hi jajo696 I feel the pain and the love thanks for sharing be safe Barbra Streisand - "The Way We Were" Memories light the corners of my mind Misty water-colored memories of the way we were Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog: Good luck!!!
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I empathise with how you feel being in a similar position with none of your family around and the lock down it has added a new meaning to it for me. Thanks for your comments ~~
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My best to your dad's birthday. Remember the god times and know that your family is always watching down at you Thanks for your thoughts ~~
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((hugs)) sometimes a funk just has to run out of steam, there's no "getting better" from the loss of family.
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I lost my younger sister 6 yrs ago and I just lost my Dad, I don't think it has really hit me yet, maybe it will when we don't have our Sunday phone call. I can feel my family shrinking now and it's a bad feeling.
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...family can be so important in many mysterious ways.... and even though gone, they are still with you for all your days...... and apparently, sometimes they come back to visit you for a moment as a dragonfly ..... that's the story in my family....... be safe.... be strong..... thanx for your thoughts ~~
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While I lost my husband and both parents within a 2 year span, I still have all my siblings. Still, it's a little scary at the top of the family tree, wondering when the next branch will fall. You have my deepest sympathy for your losses. You're entitled to wallow a while.
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Ohhhh...Granny. i knew we had this in common. I am sorry for the both of us. Yup numbing is the word...and since i lost the 3 of them within 4 yrs...i couldnt process one before the next happened. Crazy stuff and is why i am still reeling at times. Yet...its a new month and its always a breath at a time for me. Im thinking of you and wish you well girlie. Thanks for your thoughts~~
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I'm lately finding out lately sharing the memories make them more sweet, rather than bittersweet. With my child, it's about the most important thing I can pass on to her. hugs
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loneliness. My parents are long gone too but I still have my older brothers...they don't live in Ireland but we talk on the phone a lot. I shall miss them if they go first. Huge hugs.
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Hi jajo696 I feel the pain and the love thanks for sharing be safe Barbra Streisand - "The Way We Were" Memories light the corners of my mind Misty water-colored memories of the way we were Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were
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i am sorry you feel orphaned. i lost my birth family to death and was adopted at five. i was really close to my dad. when he died i went through an 11 month clinical depression. i don't know why i didn't ask for help sooner. i was regularly seeing a psychiatrist. so i don't remember if i just didn't tell her how badly things were going... but it lifted. and i haven't had a crash until dealing with COVID isolation. i hope you can find friends to be your new family. and bask in your memories of love to blanket you when you feel alone. i don't know if you believe in such things but one day i did a reiki treatment... and my ancestral spirits contacted me to let me know they were gone from this plane but love me eternally. it makes being an orphan a bit less sad for me.
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10/10/2020 5:12 am |
I am so sorry to hear of your losses . Hugs . Unfortunately you are right about the unavoidable part and pray for it to never happen. I lost both my parents in 1999 my mother in January and my Father in December before Christmas . Not alone yet but being the youngest of 6 always kind of made me feel lonely . Huggggggggs
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I am so sorry to hear of your losses . Hugs . Unfortunately you are right about the unavoidable part and pray for it to never happen. I lost both my parents in 1999 my mother in January and my Father in December before Christmas . Not alone yet but being the youngest of 6 always kind of made me feel lonely . Huggggggggs I am sooo very sorry about your parents....both in the same yr. It changes life as you know it forever. Cherish those siblings for as long as you are able ~~ Huggsss !!
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i am sorry you feel orphaned. i lost my birth family to death and was adopted at five. i was really close to my dad. when he died i went through an 11 month clinical depression. i don't know why i didn't ask for help sooner. i was regularly seeing a psychiatrist. so i don't remember if i just didn't tell her how badly things were going... but it lifted. and i haven't had a crash until dealing with COVID isolation. i hope you can find friends to be your new family. and bask in your memories of love to blanket you when you feel alone. i don't know if you believe in such things but one day i did a reiki treatment... and my ancestral spirits contacted me to let me know they were gone from this plane but love me eternally. it makes being an orphan a bit less sad for me. Yes...this Covid sequester biz is not helping us to shake it off with other distractions /outings/events. This enhances the isolation/loneliness. I do have a wonderful crew of friends....but havent been hanging with them of late due to this virus thing. Ugh. i am sooooooo ready for it to be...gone !! lol One of those friends is a reikki practitioner too!! Thanks for your thoughts ~~
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10/11/2020 8:32 am |
Huggs thank you . M family lives in my heart so we are always together .
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I am so sorry for you. My family is just the four of us and in 1993 I lost my dad. We were not close but now it seems like my sister and I are getting there with, mom that is a different story now..
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Ahhhhh......jules....your flux and my funk. Oh brother...we WILL make it out on the other side. Yes...we will. Im so sorry about your loss and the ensuing flux....but i also think we need to experience the bitter in order to enjoy the sweet. I dont think we can ever make sense or prepare for it....we just move on until the pain and the sense of it becomes less sharp. My motto has been .....a breath at a time.....and as i told you....be kind to yourself. If reaching out to family n friends helps....do it. The talking about it brings me tears....tears of the thought that no more memories will be made. So i tend to talk inwardly and cry privately. We re all doing the best we can , me thinks. Thanks for your words and support. I am sending them right backatcha~~
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I am so sorry for you. My family is just the four of us and in 1993 I lost my dad. We were not close but now it seems like my sister and I are getting there with, mom that is a different story now..
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I can feel your pain. Words cannot change what is, but I will leave you with a few to ponder. In every life some rain will fall, we should not allow it to become a flood which overwhelms us. Instead we should dwell on times when the sun shone brightly, in time it will shone again.
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I can feel your pain. Words cannot change what is, but I will leave you with a few to ponder. In every life some rain will fall, we should not allow it to become a flood which overwhelms us. Instead we should dwell on times when the sun shone brightly, in time it will shone again. Thanks for stopping by, thanks for saying and meaning what you said. Thats a rarity nowadays ....
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11/28/2020 11:23 am |
I understand where you are coming from. 2 of my 6 siblings are still around. Being the youngest always seems to turn you into an only child quickly. I am so sorry for your loses it is never easy but they will always be a part of you. Huggggs
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I understand where you are coming from. 2 of my 6 siblings are still around. Being the youngest always seems to turn you into an only child quickly. I am so sorry for your loses it is never easy but they will always be a part of you. Huggggs Family ( and those we deem fam) loss can change our world and our perspective forever ( sigh )~~
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11/29/2020 7:04 am |
I love when you stop by. Thank you !! Of all the things about this growing older chyt...its not the aching bones...or the funny eyes of night driving....to me its all about the loss of beings. The memories still reside in me...but....not being able to make more memories or ask them abt memories pains my soul. Im thankful for those memories but im not at the point of smiling about them. In the dark quiet night....or in the bathroom, shower or driving....i think....and then the water inevitably rolls from my eyes and down my cheeks. As soon as i think im about to recover, another one leaves. You have had to deal with the loss of siblings....ugh. Im so sorry.... Family ( and those we deem fam) loss can change our world and our perspective forever ( sigh )~~
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You have me teared up yet again. I long for them even so many years ago. I can see them in my mind and heart but alas it is never the same as having them there. I know the loss for sure. You touch my heart. I am not a hoarder but I collect things that have memories embedded so deeply in my heart. If you tried to remove them I would die because they are so much a part of me. Sending you sunshine and smiles and a time machine so you can see them again . That time machine, if i go back with the knowledge that i have today, i would put all my peeps in there and stay with them. ~
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11/30/2020 3:25 am |
I understand...i truly do. I have those same emotions and in this age of sequester, the usual things that i do to shake off those feelings have subsided. I would see friends , go hang out , listen to music, dance ,laugh etc. Now, its all more solitary ventures and usually outside. That time machine, if i go back with the knowledge that i have today, i would put all my peeps in there and stay with them. ~
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